MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING - IT'S THE ONLY THING (HOW THIS MONEY MYTH COULD BE SUB-CONSCIOUSLY SABOTAGING YOUR SUCCESS)
I grew up with the notion that; "Money isn't everything - it's the ONLY thing."
Needless to say (as the black sheep of the family), I've been living the complete opposite kind of life by making choices that have had NOTHING to do with money, like; being a professional athlete, living in a community in Hawaii, becoming a surfer.
I don't believe that I'm intentionally rebelling against my upbringing, but I AM hell bent on making decisions that feel good.
Yet as soon as I decided to focus on making money - this non-conformist chick living an alternative lifestyle - managed to create the exact money obsession I've been so diligently shunning for many, many years.
So as soon as I realized I've been torturing myself unnecessarily, I did what any surfer chick would do and dove deep into my own self-inflicted drama to figure out how this happened - and what to do to change it.
And wouldn't you know it, I discovered that the day I decided to focus on money was the day that ol' money mindset I grew up with took charge of my life without me even realizing it.
It was so deeply ingrained in my psyche that I didn't even know it was there!
So if YOU'RE feeling pressured by a boss, a spouse, or just your 'self' in regards to money, you can break free from the drama around it too.
Just read this blog to learn how, because you're simply no good to the world if all you feel is dragged down by it.
REMEMBER: You're meant to be happy, you're meant to experience success, and you're meant to feel the love (and wealth) all around you.
#1. WHY DO YOU GIVE MONEY NEGATIVE ENERGY (WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF)?
For me, my negative energy was based on the fear of not being CAPABLE of making ANY money.
Growing up I was never the smartest or quickest student (which would explain why I'm drawn to sports). And even though I've been very successful in all of my endeavors since then, this is the first time I associated my past 'book smarts' (or lack thereof) with my current goal of running a successful online biz.
It's like I was refusing to give myself a grade any higher than the 'C' student I was back in the day!
In other words, the young, insecure 'me' from the past has been playing puppet master to the present 'me', even though I'm an accomplished athlete, coach, partner, and all-around badass chick.
I forgot the art of patience and enjoyment of the creative process. Instead I had created a negative experience with building a successful online biz.
- Because I want to be of more value in my relationship with Ken (my hubby), so that he doesn’t have to carry the financial burden.
- Because I want to prove to my friends my capabilities as an entrepreneur (that I’m super smart and can make money by bringing my creative fantasies to life).
- Because I want to show my family how successful I am so they don’t have to worry about me financially.
Now if you look at those reasons closely you'll notice that all three are based on the value I give to money.
More specifically, MY BELIEF that money is more valuable than anything else.
As in: "money isn't everything...it's the ONLY thing."
It seems so odd since I consider myself to be quite a spiritually minded person, and yet, when it came to money I completely lost my 'self' in layers of old-beliefs and myths about money EVEN THOUGH I NEVER BELIEVED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!
So instead of acknowledging my awesomeness while working towards my goals, I spent all my time on the computer so that I'd have something to prove at the end of day.
And hey, there's nothing wrong with that, except that I wouldn't let myself go to the gym, or be outside, or take a nice break, because I felt like I didn't deserve to enjoy life until I was bringing home the bacon.
Essentially, my sense of self-worth had become based predominantly on how much money I made.
*Negative energy is based on fear, 100% of the time. So how have you been scrambling around to compensate for what you're not bringing in financially, to prove to yourself or others that you're still worthy of their love?
#2. HOW TRUE IS YOUR BELIEF, NOW THAT YOU KNOW IT'S BASED ON FEAR? (HINT: IT'S 100% FALSE)
When I gave it some thought, the actual reality of my situation is this:
- Ken doesn’t think of money in terms of having a financial burden. He KNOWS I’m bringing our biz to life. He TRUSTS my process. He RECOGNIZES the light in me. He VALUES everything I bring to the relationship. He doesn't associate money with being a burden because he LOVES to hustle and make money.
- My friends may judge, but I DO know they are also astounded by my unconventional way of living, not to mention the fact that I regularly receive random messages on Facebook from old friends who simply want to tell me how awesome they think my lifestyle is, and that they live vicariously through me.
- My family wants me to be secure, yes, but they learned long ago that I’m going to do what I need to do for me. My happiness gives them joy, and they know I’ve always succeeded at the things I’ve chosen to commit to. ALWAYS. They don’t doubt me as much as I doubt myself.
BUT THE TRUTH IS, NONE OF THE ABOVE MATTERS!
I don't want to evaluate my 'self' based on what others think of me, and neither should you.
So whether your friends and family are lovers or haters of your process...their opinions should NEVER be used to define who you are.
*A fear based belief is never true or valid.
#3. GO EASY ON YOURSELF, BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS THE ONLY WAY OUT.
Sure, you may have known better than to get caught up in the drama of a shitty boss or annoying wife based on their own negative beliefs about money (or worse, your own), but hey, there's no point in beating yourself up over it.
It all comes back to having the awareness to actually recognize when and where you took a wrong turn, and then be able to acknowledge just how easy it is to slip back into your old ways, even though you didn't plan on it.
It's like trying to kick sugar, caffeine, or porn...you know it's not necessarily good for you, but sometimes you just can't help yourself!
Then, instead of looking back - just get back on track...and forgiveness is how you do it.
For me, I had to forgive the scared little kid in class who didn't feel smart, and I had to forgive a money mindset I didn't even know I had.
You may feel like you need to forgive a person for making you feel a certain way or for believing certain things, so just go right on ahead and forgive them.
I personally didn't feel the need to forgive my dad because I don't think there's anything to blame him for. He's an awesome father who has given (and continues to give) in so many amazing ways. His goal was to provide for us. And for him, money was the answer.
Don't beat yourself up over it all, just let it go and move on. If it comes up again, just keep on forgiving.
Forgive, forgive, forgive.
* Forgiveness is the only way out, so what do you need to forgive in order to move on?
Alright, what have you realized about your money mindset and what have you learned to forgive? Let us know in the comments below!!!!
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